Too Far Away

This last week has been the first real demonstration of how far away we are.  My grandmother died on the 3rd.  This wasn't a surprise, she was old and not in the best health.  But I was not able to make it to the funeral.  I have felt just horrible about this.  I know that there isn't anything I can do, and it isn't like me being there changes anything.  But I still wish I were able to go, and it just reminds me that I don't live close to my family anymore, and I can't just be there. 
Since I couldn't go to the funeral, here is my small tribute to my Grandma Gilmore:
As a child, I didn't really look forward to going to her house.  Her and my grandpa smoked constantly, and all they wanted to do was sit and talk.  For a kid, that is really boring.  As I got older, I began to appreciate her more.  I still hated the smoke filled house, and how it would take days for the smell to come out of my hair.  But I began to enjoy her sharp wit and humor.  Her laugh was always the best!  It would sound like she was screaming.  I am sad that my kids, or even my husband, never really got to hear the full sound of her laugh.  I loved how she thought my dad was the best.  It was so funny to see how much she favored him.  He was the golden boy and we all knew it.  Even in her final days, she made sure the nurses knew that Ron was her best son.  She also always had candy out in little jars around the house.  As she got older, so did the candy, and in the last 10 years I stayed away from the candy because it was almost petrified.  We also loved how she pronounced certain words.  "Rouge" and "Garage" and "Charm" and "Whoopie" were some favorites.  She was a great story teller.  I will never forget her story of when she was younger and she thought that "a queer" (her word, not mine) was coming on to her.  She also told me about "pitching the woo" which apparently means making out.  Goodbye Grandma Gilmore.  You will be missed.