Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Disturbing

Yesterday, Ciara went to play at a classmates house. This just happened to be a boy. This boy is one that kisses her in class. I was a little hesitant to send her there, because of the kissing, but I decided that they are just kids, and kissing isn't all that bad. When she got home, we asked if she had fun, which she did. But then she proceeds to tell me that the boy (who shall remain nameless) kept "poking her gina." (Gina is her word for vagina). This really disturbed me. I didn't know how to respond when she said that. I asked her if she told him to stop, and she said she did, but he wouldn't stop, so she finally went and told his mom. I am very proud of how she handled this, but still did not like that she had to do that in the first place. Why would he do that? I know that kids will be kids, but where do I draw the line? In my head, that was over the line. To be fair, I just finished a book about a child who is molested by a priest, so maybe I am just being sensitive to this. But it bothers me. I really don't want to her play at his house anymore. I am worried that his mom is going to ask again if she can come over, and I want to say no. How do I do that without creating a situation? Yes, my daughter's safety comes first and I guess honesty is the best policy. But is there a better way to say, "No, your son poked my daughter's vagina, and I would rather that not happen again."? That just sounds weird. I can't tell her that until her son learns some manners, Ciara will no longer be going there. This needs to be handled delicately, and I don't think I know how to do that. Any suggestions?

6 comments:

SandGs Mom said...

totally think you should say something to teh mom. Just casually, even in a phone call directly about it. If she doesn't know she can't correct the problem. Make it sound like you're concerned Ciara is telling stories. And use the word Private, instead of Gina - so it doesn't sound so formal. :) But for sure I think you should call or talk to her in a non confrontational way.

Jess said...

Yikes. This, in my opinion, is not something to sweep under the rug. What if that boy plays with another girl and the other girl is not brave like Ciara? I would feel too responsible to not at least confront the parent. I agree with the previous comment. A phone call to the mother to express where you stand on future play dates. I am surprised that the mother did not say anything to you...she was told by Ciara! Sorry, this is really disturbing to me and frankly freaks me out. Kids will be kids but c'mon! Weird!

Brandi said...

Umm... I agree and think you should at least mention it to the mom. Just casually, say that Ciara mentioned it. See how the mom reacts and if she blows you off, know that you probably don't want to send her over there. I know that if MY SON were doing that to a little girl, I would understand a concerned parent. ESPECIALLY with all the weird child abuse stuff out there these days. Stand up for yourself. You def aren't being too sensitive.

Jen said...

I'm in agreement too. I think it is best to let the mom know so that she understands why you don't want her playing there anymore. On a happier note, the pictures of the kids were so darling! Thanks for sharing!

Monica said...

Yikes is right! Such a hard thing to handle. I think honesty is the best policy! You didn't do anything wrong or anything to offend this mom, so she should understand.

I loved the new kids concert post-you are so great for dressing up. that is such a classic.

The christmas pictures are so cute! They are so adorable!!!

SandGs Mom said...

did you call the mom yet? You've gotta.