Saturday, October 1, 2011

The More the Merrier?

I was able to watch one of the General Conference sessions today at home.
 Neil L. Andersen's talk on family got me thinking.
We believe in Families, and we believe in Children.
Mormons are generally known for having large (and sometimes VERY large) families.
One of the questions people (who are unfamiliar with the Mormon faith) ask me is,
"Why do Mormons have so many children?"
Some confuse us with Catholics and think it is an issue about birth control.
Not true.
I struggled with how to answer this question.
In the 11 years that I have been going to church, I have never heard a talk or had a lesson on the requirement of a large family.
There was never a minimum number of kids that families were encouraged to meet, nor was there EVER any mention of small families being less important.
Now I feel like I have the response.
We believe in Families, and we believe in Children.
THAT is why so many have large families.
We believe in families and children so much that it manifests itself in the abundance of kids in certain families.
He also states that the timing and size of your family is a sacred decision to be made between a husband and wife, through discussion and prayer.
My family stands out a bit at church, only because we have only 2 children.
Many of our friends have 5 (with #6 on the way).
One of them asked the other day if I felt any pressure to have more kids.
I answered that I didn't.
That wasn't entirely true.
Occasionally, I will feel like I am less of a mother because I have less children.
I know this is untrue, but occasionally, against my better judgement, the feeling still creeps in.
My husband and I have discussed, and prayed, and we both feel that our family is complete.
I still get a little sad thinking that I won't get to be pregnant again, or have another baby in the house.
That part of my life seems to be over, and it still makes me emotional.
However, I am just as much a mother as one who has 6, 8, 10, or even 20 kids.
I have friends who have been unable to have even one child added to their family,
and I believe they are just as much a mother as I am.
I also believe that my small family size will enable us to enjoy alternative avenues (fostering is still on my mind for the future).
For my large-familied friends, you have never made me feel less than you.
These are my own issues.
Just wanted to make that clear!  :)


1 comment:

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Hey Nici - I LOVE this post! And you know that I feel the same way that you do. I'd love to have more, but I haven't received an answer that I should! (Which feels confusing!) That talk yesterday was really, really great...He really laid it all out in a clear way. We love families...we love children...but the decision of how many to have is between you, your spouse, and the Lord. Awesome words.