Friday, October 3, 2008

Am I The Crazy One?

Today at the gym, I overheard some ladies talking while getting ready in the locker room. They were right next to me, so I wasn't trying to eavesdrop (OK, maybe I am a little nosey, but they were talking really loudly). They were discussing Halloween, and what their kids were going to be. The conversation turned to last years Halloween. They were trying to remember what their friends kids were last year, when they remembered one little boy. This little boy wanted to be a butterfly (like his older sister) but was made to be a truck since the mom deemed a butterfly not appropriate for him. And these 2 moms were in total agreement with this. I have a small problem with this. Aren't they just forcing the gender role onto this young boy? (From the conversation, I am guessing he was 2 or 3 when this happened). I know that men will disagree, and would force their son to be something masculine. At least most of them would. But I really don't see what the problem is. You do not have to dress him up in pink and purple sparkly wings, but they have some great Monarch butterfly costumes (that are black and orange) and work for boys and girls. For example:

I think that is costume is adorable for a boy or a girl. I have also seem some moth-like costumes that any toddler would think is a butterfly. My point is that butterflies do not have to be girl specific. And that we force gender roles onto kids way too early. They will learn for themselves, trust me! We are kind of having an issue of this in our home. As I mentioned in my previous blog, Caden is really into dancing. He loves to watch Ciara's ballet recital on DVD and loves to show us his arabesque. Rocky is getting worried that he will want to be a dancer. This fact doesn't bother me. If Caden wants to take ballet, then I am signing him up. Rocky does understand that if Caden wants to do this, then he won't stand in his way. But it will bother him. He has promised to keep his mouth shut if this does happen, but I also tell him that in a few years, Caden will probably have different interests. I know Rocky would get over his son being a dancer, but I do worry about his family. I will have to tape Joe's (Rocky's dad) mouth shut if he hears about Caden's dancing. (I say tape it shut because Joe will have many not so nice things to say about his only grandson doing something not so manly).

So, am I the only one who feels this way? Do you all think it is OK for parents to force certain roles onto their children? And I don't want to hear that forcing the gender role is OK because you don't want your child to be teased. I know that it is something to think about, but I would rather my child be himself and not change for fear of peer pressure.

**I just showed Rocky the costume and he does NOT think it is OK for a boy.**

5 comments:

LoriLoo310 said...

I hear ya. Nate sat in the pink car at Cookie Cutters the other day. If BSC was there, he wouldn't have stopped him, but there would have been comments and encouragement to choose the red or blue one instead. It's a weird guy thing that I don't understand.

Brandi Colby said...

I agree with you. I think in your case though, Caden is doing what he knows. His big sister is a dancer. He's around chicks all the time. If Ciara were a boy and playing baseball he'd want to do that. Kids just mirror what they are around. If Rocky's worried he should just "introduce" him to other stuff... I dunno. I don't have a kiddo yet. just my opinion

Jules said...

I think it's a guy thing. Nothing wrong with Caden dancing around. He'll grow out of it and move on to something else. And if not... who cares??? I'll come to his dance recitals. :)

Angi said...

Just so you know Mia is being Darth Vadar for halloween. Not my 1st pick but she will have pink nails as always!

Melanie said...

Hey, I was actually searching butterfly costumes and stumbled upon your blog.

So just a little unsolicited information about the boy dancing (hope you don't mind), but I have a friend (a girl) who dances for ABT in New York. I was talking to her last weekend and asked if she ever liked any of the guys in the company, or were they all gay. She said that actually most of the men in the ballet are NOT gay, but they do often overcompensate in trying to prove their masculinity (likely from a lifetime of being assumed gay because they dance). For that reason (the overcompensating part) she said she steers clear. So take that for whatever it's worth. Hope it helps!

Also, if your son loves dance, ballet is absolutely fundamental to most forms of dance so if he wanted to take, I'd say go for it. I would introduce him to all forms of dance though. And with the advent of shows like DWTS and SYTYCD, I think dance for men is becoming more acceptable in our society again and is helping to obliterate a bit of the gender roles you spoke of, at least in that area.