Daydreams

The other day, I started to think about how I got to be where I am.  Growing up, I imagined what my life would be like.  It has turned out (almost) better than I imagined.  However, I sometimes like to imagine what would have happened if . . . 

What if I had decided not to go to college in the States, and had stayed in Colombia for college?  This is a pretty random thought, since there was no way that would have happened.  I would have fallen in love with a Colombian, and lived the good life there.  I would have a maid, driver, lived in a great apartment, had someone to watch the kids, been a member of the Club.  Plus, my kids would be bilingual.  Sounds good, right?  Well, there are some other things I would have had to give up.  When we lived there, there were many married men who seemed to be under the impression that they were allowed to have girlfriends.  I know that not all Colombian men are this way, etc.  However, this did seem to be pretty acceptable (the ex-pats sometimes adopted this as well).  I don't think I could deal with that.  I am much better off being with the love of my life (or my soulmate as the psychic said) than with all the other stuff.  I do still miss Colombia, and miss the excitement of being in a big city.  I do like to complain about Utah (who doesn't) but I think I will keep what I have got.  I have never thought that my life would be better if anything changed, but I like to daydream about different things.  After all the daydreams, I am always grateful for everything I have (and don't have).  Does anyone else daydream about what might have been, or am I just crazy?

"Sex," "Grey's" and the Number 7

Finally!  "Grey's Anatomy" is back!!  They have been gone for so long, I have forgotten some important things.  First: never try to eat lunch while watching the show.  I had just started watching and eating, when the bear attack guys show up.  That was pretty gross.  Second, I have been watching "Enchanted" so much that instead of McDreamy, I now see Patrick Dempsey as Robert.  I don't believe it will take me long to get over these things.  I am just so pleased to have my favorite show back on the air!  :)

The show didn't answer all the questions left from the last time it was on.  What is really going on with Izzy and George?  Are they really not dating anymore?  And what the hell is Meredith doing letting someone else date McDreamy?  But it was still a VERY enjoyable show.  I had forgotten how hot McSteamy is too . . .

Best of all, one of the commercials in the show was a preview for the new "Sex and the City" movie.  I usually skip the commercials (bless the DVR) but when I saw what this was, I immediately rewound so I could watch it properly.  It looks as though Big and Carrie are engaged.  And all the ladies are back together.  I hope this movie is good.  I am definitely counting the days until I get to see it.  

The kids had their well child check-ups today.  Everything is good.  Caden is in the 80th percentile for weight, and 60th for height.  Ciara is in the 40th for both.  Everything is well for both.  Although, Caden has something against the number 7.  He has recently started to count.  He gets all the way up to 13, but ALWAYS skips 7.  Even when we help him count up to 20 he will also skip 17.  There must be something he has against this number.  

Running

I have become a true exerciser.  I have decided that I actually like to exercise.  This is a new thing for me.  I was a dancer my whole life until I went to college.  Dancing was my exercise, but it never felt like exercise.  It was just fun.  Well, you can imagine the weight I gained after I stopped dancing.  And I was never able to find anything as fun as ballet.  Exercise sucked.  Also, I hate to sweat.  I know, I know.  Rocky makes fun of me constantly for this.  This used to be another reason I didn't exercise.  So I just didn't do it.  Until about a month ago.  Since we have joined a gym, I have become an "exercise convert." I have discovered that I actually feel better after I do it.  I know that every says this, and I used to think that they were crazy.  But now, I am a believer!  Although, there is one kind of exercise that I just haven't been able to handle, until today!  It is running.  Most of you may know, that I HATE running.  I just don't get the point.  Today, after walking for a while, I decided that it just wasn't enough.  So I decided to run.  And I did, and I liked it.  Strange . . .  I feel like the guy from Green Eggs and Ham.  You know, the one that Sam is trying to force him to eat the green eggs and ham, and he keeps refusing.  Anyway, you get the point.  Now, I didn't run for very long (what can I say, I am still a wuss).  But I was still about to run on and off for 30 mins.  It was quite liberating.  Although, I do need to invest in a better sports bra.  There are all sorts of things that have developed as I have gotten older.  First, it was starting to like fish, then broccoli, (but I don't think I will EVER like tomatoes) and now running.  I must be maturing . . .

Pictures

The kids were out back riding their new scooters.  Caden is making his new "cheese" face.  He does this anytime we get the camera out now.  This just started today.

Ciara kept frowning, so I had to make her laugh to make her smile.

My mischievous little boy!

Here is the one of Caden wearing his swim goggles while eating breakfast.

Ciara's Birthday

No, today is not officially her birthday, but I am normally not on the computer during the weekends, so I thought I would do this one a little early.  (Her birthday is the 19th).

For 18 months, we tried to get pregnant.  The month we found out we were going to have a baby, the doctor's told me that the drugs were still not working, and we would have to try again next month.  I was sure that I wasn't pregnant.  But, surprise, I was.  And so happy!  Then I thought that I had lost you, but again, you surprised us.  Everything else was great during the pregnancy, and your delivery was easy (as far as deliveries go).  It was after that all the trouble started.  You started to cry at about 3 days old.  One night, you cried from 9pm until 4 am, non stop.  It was hell.  You cried all the time.  I can remember sitting on the couch with you, crying right along with you, and wondering, "What have I done to my life?"  At one point, I was trying to rationalize giving you up for adoption.  (I also believe I had a bit of postpartum depression, so that had to contribute to my state of mind at that point.)  But I made it through those awful first 3 months, and from then on, you were the best baby and toddler.  We moved to Denver when you were 4 months old, and had a great time together.  Since we were alone, you and I did everything together.  You became the best shopper, and to this day, you still love shopping at the mall.  We joined a play group, and those women became my surrogate family.  You were always the girliest of all the girls.  As the other kids were playing in the dirt, you would walk by and clean them off (you were about 15 months at the time).  I remember one time you fell at the park, and were so upset.  Not because you were hurt, but because you were covered in mud.  The other moms took pictures of you because they had never seen you so dirty.  When I became pregnant with Caden, you turned into a little mother.  You loved (and still do) your baby dolls.  At that time, you decided that you had a baby in your tummy also.  You used to love to kiss my belly, and talk to Kay-Kay (that was your name for Caden).  After he was born, you started to breast feed your babies.  You would get out my Boppy, sit on the couch, and feed them.  You made sure they ate from both sides, and then burp them after.  As you grew, you became very imaginative.  You would well me that alligators were  in the bottoms of puddles.  You also loved to say embarrassing things.  I will never forget (at 2 1/2 years old) in the middle of Bucca di Beppo (and italian restaurant) telling Grandma, "I have a vagina."  Or in the middle of the Nordstrom cafe, telling Grandma (again), "This hot dog looks like a penis."  You have since turned into a little girl.  You still love to take care of your babies, and you love to take care of your brother.  If he is upset, you are the first to race over and give him hugs.  You also love to refer to him as your best friend (which just melts my heart).  You are definitely your own person, and I can't wait to see where you go in life.  You changed me into a mother.  You were my first miracle.  And I love you.  Happy Birthday!

Random Topics

I typed up this really long post last night, which has since disappeared.  Great.  And I just got back from the dentist, which ALWAYS puts me in a good mood.  I think the weather is affecting me.  What is up with the snow?  I know, I am in Utah, and these random spring snows are to be expected.  But that doesn't mean I have to like it.  

So Saturday night I got a call from some one saying the Bishop wanted to meet with me.  I knew what this meant: calling.  I guess I had it coming.  We have been here for 1 year, and they haven't had us do anything yet.  So I was OK with it.  However, the only opening I knew of was in the Nursery.  (For those of you that don't know, nursery is where the kids 18 months to 3 years get to hang out while all the adults get to go to Sunday School.)  Since I just got one kid "graduated" from nursery, and another one still in it, this is one calling I really didn't want.  So all night long, I prayed: "Please, God, anything but the nursery."  Lo and behold, Sunday comes, and I am sitting in the Bishop's office, and he says, "Nici, we would like to call you to be in the . . ." and I swear, time paused for just one minute before he finished the sentence.  And yes, it did finish with the word "nursery."  My head dropped, and all the air escaped from my lungs.  I did think about saying no.  I was seriously going to.  But then I decided that it could be worse, and it really isn't so bad hanging out with all the boys (our nursery has only boys in it at the present time).  So I said yes.  Then, about 30 seconds before Sacrament meeting starts, one of the counselors approaches me and says, "The bishop was wrong, it isn't nursery, it is primary."  (Explanation: Primary is the kid version of Sunday school, for kids age 4+).  Well, my mother-in-law is sitting next to me, and under her breath, she is disagreeing with the counselor.  (She is on the Primary Presidency, and pretty much likes to act like she knows everything.)  After he leaves, she says, "I am pretty sure you are going to be put in the nursery.  I don't know why he told you primary."  So the meeting continues, church finishes as usual, and then afterwards, my know-it-all mother-in-law changes her tune and says, "I think you are going to be in primary after all."  I am still unsure as to what exactly I am going to do, but I will be thrilled if it isn't nursery.  

Ciara has really been into "Enchanted" lately.  I found the soundtrack on iTunes, and we made a cd for her.  I just love to listen to her sing in the car.  She really belts out the songs.  Even if she doesn't know the words, she will just sing whatever.  And Caden tries to join in, and to hear his deep little voice try to sing is just too cute.  I need to record them singing.

Imagination

Ciara seems to have a pretty vivid imagination.  Lately, she has been talking about "Alison."  Alison is her imaginary friend/child.  Not too long ago, Alison was big enough to go to school.  But a few days ago, Alison became a baby again, and went back into Ciara's stomach.  She apparently will be born on Ciara's birthday.  Previously, Ciara has told us that she has snuck out of the house, stole the car, and drove Alison to sign up for dance class.  Alison also seems to be in trouble a lot.  Most days, if you ask Ciara where Alison is, she will tell you that she is sitting in the corner.  I have decided that Alison is Ciara's alter-ego.  Alison does all the bad stuff that Ciara wishes she could get away with.  Caden is also getting a pretty good imagination.  All his stuffed animals cry.  He holds one up and says, "Cry, cry."  Then he has to give it hugs, and kisses.  Then we go through the whole thing again.  Where do kids get their imaginations?  And why do we lose them?  I guess reality sets in, and we forget how to dream.  

Ciara has also become a clean freak.  Before the birthday party on Saturday, my mom was cleaning the outside furniture.  Ciara decided that she wanted to help.  So she starts cleaning.  They were finished, but Ciara was not.  Everything was clean, but Ciara kept telling my mom that they needed to keep cleaning, because everything was filthy.  My mom finally got Ciara to stop cleaning, but as I was putting her to bed, she tells me, "Mom, I need to go over to the neighbors house to clean because it is FILTHY over there!"  

Little Miss Princess

Yesterday, Ciara went to her first birthday party.  Well, not really her first, but it was the first where she got the invitation from her friend from school.  The other parties she has been to have pretty much been my friends who have kids her age.  

So this was a pretty big deal for Ciara.  The party was at Sweet and Sassy, which made me a little wary.  I have heard about these parties, and the one thing that I was a little wary of was the walking on the catwalk part.  But it was so fun, and Ciara had a blast.  The first thing they did was pick out a princess dress.  Ciara insisted on the purple one (everyone else picked a pink one, or a Cinderella blue one).  Then they got their nails painted, and their hair done up like a princess and make-up, etc.  All the girls went up on the stage/catwalk and danced.  They did the Hokey Pokey, and the Chicken Dance, and then the limbo.  Then each of the little girls got to walk down the catwalk, and they announced the kingdom they came from, what the rules were, favorite activities, and princess pet.  I can't remember Ciara's kingdom, but the rule was to always have fun.  Her favorite princess activity is to dress up, and her princess pet is her fish Sophie.  Then she got to get her princess crown.  I think she thought she was in heaven.  I will have to post pictures, because it was just too cute!  I am afraid that her party tomorrow will pale in comparison.  I was so surprised at how grown up she looked with her hair up.  It was a little scary.   She really is becoming a little lady.  And I love to see her interact with her friends.  They were all hugging when they saw each other (the had just come from school together, so it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other in a while) and then they were dancing while holding hands.  It was just so fun, and it made me think of all my friends when I was little.  I hope that she can have a great of friends as I did at that age.

The Honeymoon is NOT Over.

I am not referring to my marriage.  I am talking about my new gym.  I just joined, and have been loving it.  I have been going 4 times a week.  I love the classes, I love the locker room, and I love the child center, and the fact that my dues pay for my child care.  Yesterday, after getting ready quickly (because I have to go and pick up Ciara from school) I threw my stuff together and raced out.  Later that night, I realized that I had left all my make-up, hair brushes, and new hair product at the gym.  This may not sound like a big deal to many, but for me it was.  When I say all my make-up, I mean EVERYTHING.  Brushes included.  All I could think was how much this was going to cost to replace.  I was so stressed all night long, I didn't sleep very well.  Rocky had to give me the lecture on how dumb it was so have make-up that is so expensive, but what can I say? He is a guy, and just doesn't understand.  I have been using Bare Minerals, and love it all (except for the mascara).  And that stuff is just pricey.  And brushes are expensive no matter where you get them.  I was certain that some one had just taken it.  I guess I don't have much faith in humanity.  But, lo and behold, I went to the gym this morning, and they had my stuff!  The girl that brought it out explained that she hadn't put it in the regular lost and found, but kept it locked up.  Thank you so much, gym-worker girl, for taking such great care of my stuff!  And I still LOVE Lifetime Fitness.  

On a different note, I had to go to the dentist today.  I have my first cavities.  It was not a good experience.  I am still all numb.  While being numbed with the shot, the dentist got my nerve, so my tongue it all weird now.  And the drilling is so noisy.  I just hate teeth.  I am dreading the day when the kids' baby teeth start to fall out.  That creeps me out.  I hate loose teeth.  

Some Pictures

Here are some newer pics of the kids.  They both recently got haircuts in preparation for the pictures we were meant to take last Friday, but do you notice that large mark on Ciara's forehead?  Well, the day before the picture taking was supposed to take place, she fell at school.  It was pretty swollen for a while, but seems to have calmed down now.  The scar is in the shape of a heart, so people just think she has a sticker on her forehead.  She was really funny about it too.  For the first 2 days, she refused to look in the mirror.  If she had to brush her teeth, or wash her hands, she would close her eyes until she was done, just so she did accidentally catch a glimpse of her big scab.  It kind of scares me that she is so vain already.  And it always surprises me how grown up Caden looks after he gets his hair cut.  He really turns into a little boy.  

One more try

I have decided to give this blogging thing another try.  It didn't go so well the first time.  Maybe I will have more to say. . . 

Today is Caden's second birthday.  I really cannot believe it has been two years since he was born.  I can still remember how ready I was for him to come out, but so upset over decisions that I had to make.  The Dr. new that Caden was going to be a large baby, and was planning on inducing me until they did one more ultrasound.  According to the ultrasound, he was going to be around 10 1/2 lbs.  After she saw this, my Dr. started to try to convince me to have a c-section.  I knew that I didn't want one, and that I could get this baby out.  But when a professional starts to tell you horror stories of brain damage, and paralyzed limbs, you start to worry.  So we decided to listen to her and to have the c-section.  It did make me a little angry, however, when we got to the hospital.  They made us sign all this stuff saying that this was an "elective" c-section.  I tried to argue with them, since this was NOT my first choice, and that this was not for fun.  But that didn't matter and we had to sign the forms.  I still do not consider his birth "elective."  I told the Dr. that if he was under 10 lbs. I was going to be so angry that I agreed to let them cut me up.  He ended up being 9 lbs. 14 ozs.  I guess that is close enough to 10 lbs.  Although I do believe that I could have done it the "regular" way.  From the beginning, he was the best baby I could have asked for.  He was so relaxed, and slept great right from the start.  He always ate a lot, and he smiled the day we brought him home from the hospital.  I know many of you don't believe me, but my mother was there, and she saw it as well.  He has grown into the cutest boy I have ever seen, full of energy, and with the deepest voice you will ever hear on a 2 year old.  I am getting all teary just thinking of him.  One thing about having a son scares me: it is when he meets some other girl who will take him away from me.  I know he will always be my son, but it won't be the same, and it shouldn't be the same.  But that is a ways off, for now at least.  

So Happy Birthday Caden!  I thank God for bringing you into my life.